Extended Excerpt of SistWives Part 1
Copyright © 2018 A.N.C Media Publishing
This book is purely a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents contained within this body of work are not related to or portraying anyone living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
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I sat on the edge of the bed anxiously awaiting Toshica to come out of the shower. I was going back in forth between sitting on the edge of the bed and pacing back and forth in front of the mirror practicing my speech in my head. I had all my points plotted out. My rebuttals were lined up and ready to go because I knew they were coming. I'd already set the tone though. I was fairly positive Toshica would be in a good mood. Back to back orgasms always seemed to put her in a pleasant frame of mind. I just didn't know if that was enough to soften the blow I was about to give her. I mean let my wife tell it, my dick was made of gold, but after I broke this shit down to her, I'm sure my dick game would be demoted to bronze. Shit, what's worse than that? Copper? A rusty ass penny? Maybe I should just wait? Nah. What was waiting going to do? The end result was still going to be the same. My mind was made up. So I might as well pull the band-aid off swiftly so we could move on. I'd been holding this in long enough. It was getting to the point where I was starting to feel deceitful towards my own wife and that had never been my intention. Keeping something like this from the love of my life had me feeling low down and sneaky.
Toshica walked into the bedroom rubbing her freshly washed hair with a towel. A wide smile across her beautiful face. I couldn't help but smile my damn self. My chocolate queen.
"You had the right idea today baby. Taking the afternoon off was just what we needed. I wanted to take my time making love to my man for a change. Quickies are good don't get me wrong, but I needed to be made love to. All I need now is some food then I want to crawl into bed and catch up on all my shows. What do you have a taste for? I'll use Uber Eats. How about we order from the soul food restaurant? I have a taste for some greens and macaroni and cheese." Toshica chattered happily as she applied lotion to her body.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My dick was starting to rise again just looking at her. Maybe I could delay this talk another hour? Fuck that, there are more important things I needed to address first.
"Baby I need to talk to you about something."
"Okay. What is it?" Toshica asked slipping a pair of black lace panties up her thick, sculpted thighs and reaching for the matching bra.
I wasn't a man who got nervous. I made other people nervous with my cool and confident demeanor. I was the type of man who handled any situation that came my way calmly. I was in control of everything in my life. So, I found it crazy that I was breaking out in a cold sweat all of a sudden. My forehead was beaded with sweat. My hands were clammy as hell. I quickly rubbed them down the front of my jeans. Why? My wife and I had been together since we were 17 years old. I could talk to her about anything. We'd formed an open line of communication that included any thought or idea my mind could conjure up. Toshica listened to me. I could bounce ideas off her and even if I could tell she didn't agree with me, she respected me enough to always encourage me and find a way to make my crazy ideas a reality. But what I was about to say, even though I'd talked about it for years was something different.
I was nervous as hell.
"So you know how I've always said I believe Black men should have more than one wife? How I feel like it would help the Black community, not enough men are stepping up to raise their children, all these single mothers being left to pick up the slack. The Black household is missing an integral part...the Black father. Husband, the true head of household." I smiled inwardly. Say that shit Black man! How could Toshica even think to disagree with me on this?
Toshica cut her eyes at me and pursed her lips tight.
"Oh Lord. Here we go again. Yes, I remember Blair. You've been reading up on this mess since we were kids." Toshica continued walking about our bedroom pulling out drawers trying to find something to relax in for the remainder of the day.
"Well baby I think it's about that time."
"Time for what? To eat? Hell yeah I'm starving. Your girl worked up quite an appetite." Toshica said, laughing as she twerked her ass in my direction.
"I'm ready to make that move and do it." I said slowly wiping my hand across my now moist brow. Damn was the air conditioner working in this muthafucka?
"Do what Blair? I'm not following you baby."
I rubbed my hand over my head. A part of me was pissed because Toshica was acting so nonchalant, it made me feel like she'd let what I'd spoken to her about over the years go in one ear and out the other.
"I'm ready to take another wife. I've met the woman I want to be part of our lives."
Toshica stopped dead in her tracks. Then she burst out laughing.
"Boy bye. We're in the dead of summer so I know this ain't no April Fool joke. Cut it out." Toshica said looking at me shaking her head, tittering with laughter as she walked by.
She went into our walk-in closet with me quick on her heels.
"No baby I'm serious. Her name is Faith. I'm ready for you two to meet. I think this is going to be good for all of us."
Toshica stumbled back into the pile of clothes and I jumped to pull her back upright. Was she about to faint?
"Blair please tell me you're joking. I don't find the shit funny at all."
"No. This is serious. I'm ready to walk the walk. All these years I've been talking about it but just like I told you, when I found the woman who was a perfect fit for us as a family, I was going to move on it. The time is now."
"You're a now ass lie. Whatever you've got in your head to do I need you to get your mind right. Ain't gonna be but two people in this marriage and that's me and you. Are we clear on this? What has gotten into you all of a sudden? You know what? I don't even want to hear any talk about this multiple wives shit anymore. Just shut-up with that dumb mess. I hate even talking to you like this, you know it's not in my character, but I've had enough. I should have checked your ass about even opening your mouth to me about that shit before but I am now. All you have and are ever going to have is one wife...that's me. Now please hush up about that nonsense."
"That's just it Shica! It's not sudden. I've been talking about this since I was a teenager. Have you not been listening? Oh you thought I was playing?"
I was trying to keep my composure, but I was getting annoyed. This was not new. I was not going to be made to feel like I just brought this up out of the blue.
"No, I haven't been listening to that shit! Do you really think I'm going to entertain the thought of my husband being with another woman? I didn't agree to any of this. Matter of fact all the years you brought it up, you never heard me take the conversation any further than you running your damn mouth." Toshica stopped dead in her tracks and her jaw dropped slightly." So wait just a damn minute...you said you've found a woman. So you’re telling me you've cheating on me?"
I paused before answering her.
I'd never really considered my getting to know Faith as cheating. I was getting to know her with the specific intent of having a loving, committed relationship with her. Faith was going to be the other half...to my other half. I dated her with the express intention of making her a wife. I wasn't like most of these married men out here trying to dib and dab in any piece of pussy they could get into. This wasn't about cheating on my wife or being bored sexually at home. I was as turned on by my wife as I'd been at 17. We had an active sex life, two sometimes three times a day since the first time we had sex as teenagers. Though technically I guess you could say I had cheated on her. I raised my eyes to meet hers.
"Oh my God you have!" Toshica screamed before bursting into tears as she pushed past me and out of the closet. " What have you done Blair? What have you done to us?"
"Shica don't look at it like that. I had to get to know Faith so I would know if she was right for us."
"No nigga you're trying to sugar-coat shit talking about some damn getting to know her...I wanna know did you fuck her? Tell me that!"
"No nigga you're trying to sugar-coat shit talking about some damn getting to know her...I wanna know did you fuck her? Tell me that!"
I took a deep breath. Just explain Faith to her, Toshica loves me. She's just going to have to adjust, I thought to myself.
"Look why don't you sit down so I can explain this to you. I think things are starting to get a little heated here and there's no need for all that." I calmly requested.
"No answer the goddamn question Blair." Toshica shouted punctuating each word with a clap.
The Eastside was coming out of her in full effect.
"Have. You Been. Fucking. Another. Woman? Have you stepped out on this marriage? Broken our vows to one another. Our covenant with God." Toshica asked breathing heavily, chest heaving. I could tell she was enraged and choking back tears.
"You're calling it cheating but it's not really like that. It's not that cut and dried. It's not like I've been out here running behind women trying to fuck anything standing. You know I'm not like that Shica. I'm not an animal. So yes we met a few months ago and at this point yes I have had sex with her, just to make sure we were compatible on all levels..."
At that point I felt a sharp sting across the side of my face. I was a little shocked because at no point during the nine years I'd known Toshica had there been even a hint of physical violence between us. Yes, we'd had the occasional heated argument but even those were few and far between with us.
"Toshica don't you ever in your fucking life put your hands on me. Have I ever, since I was a 17 year old boy raised a finger to you?" I gritted out. I hope she didn't leave a mark on my damn face.
"Well you may as well have. This feels like you've just punched me in the gut and ripped my heart out. This feels like the worst thing you've ever done to me." Toshica screamed breaking down into sobs.
"Toshica I know you're hurting right now but we're going to get through this I promise. Just meet Faith and you'll see she's a good woman."
"I'm leaving this house, I can't even look at you right now Blair. Don't say another word to me."
"Leaving? Toshica running away isn't going to solve anything. Let's be adult about the situation. I'm not going to let you play victim about something you've known was coming for years."
I followed Toshica around the huge bedroom. She was throwing clothes into her weekender bag tears continuing to stream down her face muttering to herself. Toshica grabbed her cell-phone.
"Who are you calling? Shica now is not the time to be getting other people all in our business!"
"Fuck you Blair! Mom, I'm coming home." Toshica was in full blown hysterics at this point.
I was pissed.
Now I was going to have to call and explain this shit to her Mom. Toshica's Mom loved me. She'd liked me from the start. Granted she was pissed when Toshica and I decided to get married right out of high school but both of our mothers were upset about that. Toshica and I stood our ground though. We knew we were in love and wanted to live our lives our way. Our mothers got on board when they saw we were going through with getting married whether we had their permission or not. They really calmed down when they saw we were still pursuing our educations. A lot of people thought Toshica would be pregnant within the year but we had goals and had met and exceeded them all.
"No he didn't hit me. I'll explain when I get there. Bye"
"Toshica why are you leaving when we need to be discussing this. You're acting like I cheated on you with some random female. That's not what this is."
"The bitch is random to me! I really hope she's worth it Blair because you can't have us both and at this point you can have her. I don't want you anymore. I'm completely done. You've shared flesh with another woman. So, I guess I get free reign to go out here and ride random nigga's dicks just like you did right? Since we have an open marriage now huh?"
My face fell for a second. Now that I didn't find funny at all. The mere thought of Toshica spreading her legs for another man made me nauseous. What I was doing and the shit she was saying were two totally different things.
"You don't mean that so don't say it."
"I do mean it. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for this Blair."
With those parting words Toshica was out the door.
Had the love of my life really just walked out on me? I can't lie, I was shook. I mean I knew she was going to be mad, but I'd really thought after an initial outburst Toshica would calm down and we'd talk this out the way we did everything in our lives.
I stood in the middle of our bedroom rubbing my hand over my head in confusion. I was trying not to lose my shit because the one thing I did know in life was that Toshica loved me. I knew that for damn sure. What I never expected was for her to walk out of our home. To not hear me out. That just wasn't in her character. I paced silently a few minutes before pulling out my cell-phone.
“Tez, man what should I do?"
"About what Negro? What you can do is stop calling me on my job. I already told you I'm on my last warning and these White folks are letting me go."
"Man fuck that job. I've told you for the longest to come work for me and make some real money." I said.
"Fuck that! That would mess up our friendship having you cut my checks. What's going on?"
"I told Toshica about Faith ..."
"Nigga. I told you about that bullshit. You're the dumbest smart muthafucka I know. I told you Toshica was a real one and wasn't falling for that mess. I wasn't trying to judge your black ass too hard because I was like shit, he has been hittin' the same piece of pussy since we were 17. I was going to give you a pass but nigga you say you're still in love with Toshica. You're willing to throw it all away for some broke, pussy bitch you just met."
"Don't talk about Faith like that. You will not disrespect her in or out of my presence Tez. Not if you're my friend. Faith is going to be my wife and I expect you to treat her with the same respect you treat Toshica. What is wrong with you Tez?"
"No nigga the question is what is wrong with you? I don't know that hoe! And that is exactly what she is messing with a married man. I've known Toshica longer than you! Did you really think I was down for the shit you just pulled on her? I was trying to find some rhyme or reason for why you would do a woman like that who's been down for you since day one. But for you to try and jump bad with me for calling a hoe a hoe? Nah nigga you got me fucked up. You know what? I'ma keep it one thousand with you. I may joke a lot about women not tying me down and relationships and shit, but when I was ready to settle down I was going to be looking for something similar to what you and Toshica have. My own version of that. You fucked that pipe dream all the way up. Look I gotta go. Get your shit together man before you lose the best thing that ever happened to you."
With those words Tez, one of my best friends disconnected our call. I stood there dumbfounded.
Panic was setting in but I knew I could make this right. The damage...if any was already done so I had no choice but to have Toshica come around to my way of thinking. I was going to have to make my marriage to Toshica... and Faith work.
That was the only word tumbling through my brain as I watched my mother navigate the array of sizzling, simmering pots on the stove all while holding her cell phone precariously perched in the crook of her thickly rolled neck. I may as well have been invisible because my Mama was talking about me as if I wasn't even in the same room. Not to mention I was operating on about six hours of sleep since I'd walked out on Blair a few days ago.
"Blair baby, you know damn well you're welcome over here anytime. We're family! Yes, uh-huh. I know baby. That's exactly what I said. Mmmhmm. You ain't gotta tell me how hard-headed my oldest child is. I never thought I'd say it but she's worn out her welcome over this way and it's only been two days! You need to hurry up and come get her ungrateful ass! I can't deal with all this attitude. I'm too old for this shit. Over here snapping at me like she's crazy. Son, you know I got high blood pressure. I pop this prescription pill Dr. Devoy got me on every morning. I try to stay stress free!"
My mother then burst into a fit of giggles like a 13 year old school girl over the stove where she was stirring a nice pot of creamy grits for our usual Sunday brunch spread.
I was trying to keep my composure, but it was hard. Looking around the opulent kitchen that I had redesigned for my mother a little over a year ago brought me little comfort. It seemed a little out of place given the fact my mother's home was so modest but when I tried to get her to upgrade homes, to get her into a better neighborhood my mother wouldn't hear of it. She did consent to a kitchen remodel for her Mother's Day gift instead. Black, cream and grey marbled granite counter tops. Stainless steel appliances throughout. Every appliance imaginable to make her life easier since she loved to cook. I bought that shit. Hell, all my Mama had to do is push a button and she was listening to her gospel music through the damn refrigerator. It made me happy to be able to do these type of things for my mother as an adult because I knew she'd worked hard as a single mother raising my sister and I. But the sense of betrayal that was rising inside of me was almost unbearable. I was her child. Me. Though you could hardly tell the way she was cavorting and cackling on the phone with my damn husband. Was I wrong to want...no expect a certain level of loyalty from my own Mama? I didn't think so.
Was it wrong I was having visions of Al Greenin' my own damn Mama? Oooohweee! I mean grits everywhere. If I get my hands on that pot it's a wrap for her!
I knew I was dead wrong for having thoughts like that about my own Mama but so was she. All on the damn phone kekeeing in this nigga Blair's ear. Talking down about me too? My own Mama. I pushed away from the table, quickly walked to the stove and snatched a piece of crispy bacon off the plate. Here I was starving and she on the phone! She'd been chatting it up with Blair dogging me out at least 30 minutes. Before my hand could make it away from the stove I felt a sharp sting on the back of my hand.
"What Mama?" I cried stuffing the bacon in my mouth and rubbing the back of my hand.
"Get your greedy ass out all the food. I wanna make Blair and his new little friend Faith two plates to pick up. I want son-in-law to have a good breakfast! He's been working hard all week and got all these new contracts. A man needs a hearty breakfast to start his day off!" Mama shouted finally hanging up with Blair.
I had to stop myself from cutting my eyes at her ...again. My Mama always had advice on how I should be treating my husband. What I was and wasn't doing right. Which I found odd since she'd never been a wife. Don't get me wrong, she was a damn good mother and had always gone above and beyond to provide for my sister and I, but she'd never been what I would call lucky in love. My sister and I had different fathers and neither one of her relationships with our dads had lasted long. Nor had she had a lasting relationship with any other man. That I knew of at least. Yet for some reason she thought she was an authority. My Mama had no idea what I was going through as a wife. Especially with the latest bullshit Blair had pulled on me. At the moment I felt like I had signed my name on the worst contract ever. A marriage certificate.
"Mama I don't give a damn what Blair and Faith..."
Before I could get the remainder of the sentence out of my mouth not only was the back of my hand stinging, but the side of my face was too.
My Mama had slapped the taste of that thick cut country bacon out of my mouth.. literally! I stood there for a few seconds blinking away the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks as my mother glowered at me angrily. So angry in fact that her chest was heaving as if that slap across my face was just the beginning of what she wanted to do to me.
Here I was a 26 year old, college educated, professional woman and being chastised as if I was still a child.
"Mama...," I said, my tone pleaded trying to reason with her.
We'd been at war with each for the past two days. The day I'd packed my bags and left Blair.
"Don't you Mama me young lady. Sit your wide tail down right now!" My Mama roared.
I knew that tone all too well. I'd dealt with it all my life. My Mama, Geraldine Jones was about to hand my ass to me on a platter. All I could do was sit there ready to chew and swallow it down no matter how bad it tasted. Every time my Mama addressed me she felt the need to mention my " wide tail". I'd come to the conclusion is was because it was the only physical trait I had that resembled her.
I stood taller than my mother's 5'4 by a few inches. At 5'7 accompanied by my full D cup breasts it made my body nice and curvy in all the right places, big ass and all. These days on the other hand, the wide hips just made my mother look short and stout. The rich, dark brown complexion I'd inherited from my Father was smooth and clear. I'd always even as a child had a head full of thick hair.
My mother refused to let my sister or I perm our hair as children, something I hated growing up but grew to appreciate the versatility of later on in life. A few months ago I'd cut my hair to my shoulders and got it flat ironed weekly into a sleek bob. I found the shorter length showed off my neck and highlighted my sharp cheekbones and almond shaped eyes. I wondered how Faith looked? Blair always described me as his Black Queen. I'd obviously been replaced, my mind thought, drifting from my Mama for a few seconds. The loud boom of her voice promptly brought me back.
"Now look, enough is enough. You gon' need to pack your shit back up and head on back over to your husband and that big ass house to work out all this nonsense y'all got going on. Your sister and I have a routine over here in this house since you got married and moved out nine years ago. Your sister is pretty much grown, a sophomore in college and on track to graduate. Thanks to son-in-law I ain't gotta work as hard as I used to. Now I'll be the first to admit I wasn't cheering for this marriage from the start. I told you I didn't agree with this relationship from the jump. I always knew there was gonna be some shit with Blair. He was too smooth and slick for my taste and now we know the reason why! Both of you were too young in the first damn place. You moving in and getting married right out of high-school. But you, young lady shoved it down my throat! But now you're in it. You're a married woman so handle your shit." My Mama spat banging the table with her fists harshly, tears coursing down her face.
"I didn't ask you to open your damn mouth Toshica. You didn't want your mama's advice when you married his ass. You brought that playboy ass Negro, fine as he may be in here and shoved him down our throats. Begged me to accept him. You chose him over your own damn family. I even spoke with Blair's Mother and we both agreed y'all were too young to be this serious. We tried to put the brakes on this entire relationship. Neither of you would listen to a word we had to say. I'm not even going get into how you disrespected me. Throwing up the fact I've never been married. As if that has shit to do with anything. Young lady are you under the impression I've never been asked for my hand in marriage? Hell yes I have been! By both you and India's sorry ass daddies but just because I was pregnant didn't mean I was going to make my situation worse by getting married to a no-good man. You threw damn tantrums and said all you needed in your world was to be in his. Well you got it baby. Put your big girl thongs on Boo!"
I couldn't believe my Mama was really going in on me like this. Bringing up old things from nine years ago. I guess she'd been holding it all in waiting for the opportunity to throw it all in my face. I just hung my head in shame and listened. I was biting my tongue so hard I could taste my own blood.
"For the life of me I can't understand what the goddamn problem is? When you brought this bullshit to my door the other day, you told me that man has been telling you this was something he was going to do for years. Since he was a kid! I can't even believe a child of mine would have agreed to it in the first damn place. Well baby, it's just like Oprah is always telling us. When someone tells you who they are...believe them! Sounds to me like he told you no lies. So it seems to me you've been going through this entire marriage waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now that it has, you want everyone to be up in arms? Now you want us all to hate Blair. Turn our back on him and never speak to him again? After all these years have gone by Blair is the son I never had. I don't know who or what the hell you seem to think you are, but no way sister! I'm not turning my back on him just like that!
Now here you sit...in my damn kitchen done left your comfortable situation. Hell, you low-key trying to fuck up my understanding with Blair you know he helps me with extra cash every month when my ends ain't meeting, they're just waving to each other and for what? Because this lil' nigga done decided he want a second wife?" My Mama asked sucking her teeth loudly, placing a hand on each side of her wide hips. The same hips I'd inherited from her.
"Second wife" my goddamn ass! The man just wants permission to cheat without the hassle of lying to you every time he wants to slide his dick in some new pussy. Hell, you and I both know Blair's goddamn ass can't have more than one wife! So off top it's dumb as hell for you to be mad about that part. It's illegal. Don't let those damn reality shows screw with your head. I watch some of them every now and then just to see the foolishness but don't buy into all that ol' mess! That's your goddamn husband." My Mama ranted leaning down until she was in my face breathing heavy.
Hell, I had watched Love and Hip-Hop and the show Sister-Wives a few times, I thought in a few states it was legal. I just knew it was some White people stuff until Blair came to my black ass with the bullshit. Blair had my whole head so messed up with the thought of him being with another woman period, I didn't know if I was coming or going the last two days. The next thing I knew, my Mama was tapping the side of my head with her fingertips.
"For you to have gone to college you're sitting here acting like you don't have a lick of sense! Is that a fake diploma you gave me to hang on my wall? Did you buy it off the Internet? Now are you going to sit back and let this hussy have your husband or what? That's the real question. Shoot! Now days wives are suing these damn home-wreckers! Alienation of Affection I hear it's called. So, from where I stand, it's all about how much you even want Blair's ass after pulling this stunt. Y'all got married right out of high school and he hasn't made a dime without you right by his side. But if you want my advice, don't leave your entire marriage behind this. Make him do right by you. Especially if you're in love with him still. I know you are. Blair is doing what all men do anyways. They all get an itch to cheat. Don't go fuckin' up your good thang...and me and your sisters, over one indiscretion."
What was lower than dirt?
That's how I felt right now. The only person in this world I thought I could count on to be on my side was clearly team Blair Carmichael. Yeah, she was giving me what she thought was her best advice but at the end of the day she didn't want me rocking the boat with Blair. Not for my benefit but for hers. As long as she got the two thousand a month cushion we gave her every month she was fine with her daughter being disrespected. Publicly humiliated.
This nigga Blair had taken over my entire family and I'd handed them to him on a silver platter. I had no where to turn. No soft place to land in my time of need. In just nine years I'd gone from an independent college graduate, excited about everything on the horizon. To where I was now. I'd easily morphed into a needy, dependent woman. Even though I was putting on a brave front with my mother, I'd cried myself to sleep every night since I'd left my home. I missed Blair so much my body ached. It felt like I was missing a limb. Truth be told, I already had one foot out the door heading back to him and instead of supporting my frail decision to leave Blair and not become wife one of two. My own family was turning their back on me.
In nine short years he'd stolen my family from me. The lines had clearly been drawn in the sand and my own Mama had made it clear that since Blair was paying the cost to be the boss at our house...and hers, or so she thought, Geraldine Jones was team Blair all the way.
I rose from the table feeling sick and dejected.
"Okay Mama. I get it, I'm going to lay down I don't feel good." I said.
Mama pulled the biscuits out of the oven, slammed the door shut and cut her eyes at me.
“Ain't shit wrong with your ass. You wanted to be grown, well heffa you grown now! Got me over here cussin' up a storm this blessed Sunday morning! Don't bring your ass over here making waves in my ocean! I like a calm sea. Now India is in school with her tuition paid every semester without her having to take out any loans. You damn sure ain't paying the bill. Blair is. I worked like a Hebrew slave so you and your sister could have a house to grow up in and I can't even begin to say it was easy. But Blair came on the scene and paid the rest of the mortgage and the back taxes. I was about to lose this house I broke my back working for. This house is mine free and clear now. That was Blairs' doing. Not yours. Now you wanna fuck it up for everyone? Uh-uh little girl. You better think about that.
You're the one who thought it was all right to have a big ass California king bed big enough for all y'all to lay up in! The more I think on it, there has to be some reason Blair is so comfortable bringing another woman in your home. What have you been letting him do all these years? I can't imagine the things Blair got you in that house doing. Licking and lapping all in Faith's twat. But that's your big ass bed. My own child turned out by a nigga! The nigga done made you a Lesbian! Well sister you made that big ol' nasty bed. Now lay in it! What's the big deal anyways at this point? Two wives, three wives, sista-wives. Shit you threw all ya' damn morals out the damn window once you agreed to go along with that bullshit. If you had told me this was the type of mess Blair was into from the jump, I would have ran his ass from around here the minute he came sniffing asking for your hand in marriage. But you knew!" Mama ranted on.
I didn't think I could feel any lower than I already did. I was wrong.
Why was my own mother so ready to give Blair credit for all the blessings we'd given her? I was her child. I was the one who made sure this damn house was paid off so she wouldn't have to work so hard. I set up the monthly direct deposit to BOTH of our mothers. I was the one who stepped in to handle India's tuition, so she could actually enjoy some of her college years unlike myself. I worked and struggled so hard during my college years it was just a blur for me. There wasn't any time for sororities and parties. I had work study. My mother certainly didn't have the money to help me. At that point I'd tuned her out and made my way to the stairs to pack my shit up. I refused to entertain the thought of another woman in our relationship. I needed to draw my own damn line in the sand with Blair. It was either this Faith chick or me.
My Mama was right about one thing.
Blair had never hidden the fact he wanted to live a polygamist lifestyle from me. Honestly when we were kids I just thought it was some weird shit he was running his mouth about. How was I supposed to take something that he said at 17 years old serious? Granted he'd spoke on it throughout the years insisting he was going to do it.
Blair spoke to me about how it began in Africa, even started by African women and that the Black community needed it more than ever since the "Man" was killing Black Brothers left and right. That some men weren't stepping up to the plate in regards to marriage and being fathers to their children.
Blair insisted his heart was going to lead him in the direction of taking another wife. Even during those times, I never took it to heart because his actions never lead me to believe it was anything I had to worry about. Blair usually only brought it up when there was something negative going on in the Black community either locally or nationwide. He'd get on his little soapbox about things that could bring the Black community together as a whole. Just as quickly the conversation would be over and he wouldn't bring it up again.
After so long it went in one ear and out the other with me because despite all his talk, Blair had never cheated on me or so much as looked at another woman, at least to my knowledge.
I was the envy of all of my friends in regard to our relationship. From day one as a 17 year old boy Blair Carmichael had stepped in and stepped up for me. When my Mama didn't have money to buy me the things I wanted...don't get me wrong, I had everything I needed. Just not what I wanted most of the time. Blair was right there. Anything materialistic I wanted he provided. All during high-school and summers, his mother had a family friend who got Blair and his twin brother work doing various odd jobs on the various construction sites around San Antonio. So he always had money in his pocket. Not that I was some type of a gold-digger mind you.
We had each other’s backs.
Pushed each other through graduating high-school and college. Started our company Carmichael Construction together. Shit I was the money team. I was the one who went back to college and obtained my Masters Degree in Business two years ago. All the money needed to get Blair's dream of having the top Black owned construction company in the state of San Antonio...hell Texas period, I set that shit in motion.
Now here I was in the position to have to compete with another bitch for my entire fuckin' life? It was bad enough I'd been keeping bitches off my man for years, yeah Blair was faithful but that didn't mean many women hadn't tried to coax him away from me. I was known around town for letting a thirsty bitch know my man was off limits starting in high-school. It also helped my husband wasn't entertaining other women but evidently all that had changed. Oh no, just screwing my husband wasn't enough for this Faith bitch. Did this nigga have her head so blown up that she felt like she could be me? Take my spot?
The only thing I did know was that I didn't want to be here with my mother. I didn't feel safe, loved or valued by the one person in this world I thought I would be. Without question. So I was going to leave. I did have my own home. I'd just have to get Blair to see reason. If he was really willing to risk losing me behind another woman, it was a wrap. Enough is enough. I'd sacrificed too much through the years in this relationship to take a back seat to another woman. About that my Mama was right. I made it to the top of the stairs and jerked my head back. Now wait just a damn minute! I thought as something quickly crossed my mind. I turned right back around and leaned into the kitchen.
"Mama, I really do want you to know one thing."
"And just what might that be?" Mama said rolling her eyes at me.
"Not that there's anything wrong with being a Lesbian if that's what you are. But I have never licked Faith's twat! Ever! As of yet all I know about this home-wrecker is her name. When I do lay eyes on this bitch I'm putting my foot up her ass for even thinking about coming for my husband!" I yelled before quickly running back up the stairs before my Mama slapped fire from me!
I ran up the stairs to my childhood bedroom and looked around. I'd been gone from home so long it no longer resembled the room I used to sneak Blair into when we were teenagers and my Mama was at work doing overtime. It was a proper guest room but I'd long outgrown the full-sized bed even my mother’s style. I was used to more. I'd worked hard to get the material things I had, and I wasn't dropping all that in another woman's lap without a fight. At the end of the day, Blair could very well decide he wanted her. But he'd have a fight on his hands if he thought I was leaving with nothing. If I didn't know anything about what the future held I knew that.